And I thought the dentist trip was bad ...

By CATHY GILLIS

My son was so anxious to get into the preschool this morning that he skipped the front door and went to try to get into the playground gate. After I signed the kids in, I made my exit, but not before the requisite number of kisses and hugs. The kids knew that Momma was going to the tooth doctor.

After finally finding a parking space, I went up the rickety iron-railed stairs to what's got to be one of the more forlorn dental offices in Napa. I signed in and looked furtively around. A Latina mother and her small girl were seated on my side and to the left. I realized that without choice I was listening to some giant man's blustering on a cell phone. I looked over to see a "for patient courtesy, please refrain from using your cell phones in the waiting room" memo taped to the glass that separated us from the office workers. Undaunted, this trucker looking fellow--high trucker hat, scruffy beard, protruding paunch covered loosely by an inflated-looking vest jacket, and beefy legs spread out in front of three chairs--continued to raise his voice. At this point I became aware of what he was actually saying.

"Well!!! I 'aint gonna have a dog wrecking the carpet that I'll have to replace every two months. I said I was sorry, but I told him to put the dog down. I 'aint gonna have a dog wrecking my carpets!

"Uh, yeah. Well, that one other guy just took his dog right out and shot him!

"Uh huh. Well and that other one went drowned his dog!"

His voice was getting louder and louder and he sprayed into the phone. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked around to see if anyone was as concerned as I. I especially looked at the little girl with the long black ponytail. She seemed completely unfazed and continued to color. Her mother bent down to tell her daughter something in Spanish, and I thought, "thank God. She doesn't understand English."

Another guy was to my right, but he refused to catch my eye. I looked over again to the office workers and to the "no cell phone" memo prominently displayed on the window in front of them. No one seemed to notice. I mean, at the very least, wouldn't they be annoyed by the loud voice if not by the appalling subject matter? But no, the office girl apparently called the man's name because he loudly said, "Oh, gotta go. Yeah, I'm in the dentist office," and thankfully hung up. He left shortly after.

I was ready for my Novocaine shot.

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