" well duuuuuuuuuuuuh! "

" Look both ways before crossing the street.
Always wear clean underwear.
Never lick a steak knife. "

" Dont eat yellow snow, especially if you have been drinking! "

" If you have armrests, put your elbows on them, and grab the bottom of the steering wheel. That will keep you in a pretty straight line. Oh yeah, don't fall asleep. "

" Put the driver side tires on one side of the yellow lines and the passenger tires on the other side. As long as no tires cross the yellow lines, you're 100% sure to make it. "

" Did anyone else notice this discrepancy?

"If you drink, don't drive."
"Drink responsibly and know your limits."

That last one will still get you 'wet and reckless' which still carries about the same punishment as a DUI. What kind of advice is that? "

" Drink responsibly is a trap. Take a drink and if you get pulled over you will be ticketed.
My wife and I take Black Tie both ways. That runs about $25 or 0.001% of the real costs of a DWI. "

" Tip #1 for avoiding a DUI in Napa, be rich. They only give DUI's to the peasantry in Napa... "

" LittleJoe...you don't need to be rich...$10,000 or so should take care of it...a good DUI atty can work wonders with juries, so unless there is a video of you making a fool of yourself during the roadside sobriety tests, it would be money well spent. Of course renrut's option would be preferable as a first choice instead of getting behind the wheel after having even one drink. There is no such thing as drinking and driving responsibly...this is a well financed ad campaign for liquor lobbies in Washington. Just don't drink and drive safely. "